Just a post to say hello

.. for no particular reason. Ok, perhaps to prove that I'm still alive. To both of us.
The truth is that I've never had a headache like this one that I'm dealing with at the moment and.. oh yeah, it's killing me. I feel as is my whole skull is screaming from agony. It's not fun, but it's definitely not boring. Something new. I guess the mere thought of Spring has just hit me. Or perhaps I'm just justifying my stupidity by saying that (I decided to go and smell some fresh air with my hair all wet). Oh la la, I be very smart.

The truth is that I'm sucked dry out of energy. I'm nothing. Don't take it the hardcore emo way. I moan and complain most of my life. I guess I'll just go and moan in the corner and die alone. No, wait, this way is much more entertaining. When people can actually read my whining. I have to thank God, Buddha or/and Allah for the Internet. Or whoever is up there. That is, I have always assumed I would go to heaven, but lately it seems that a road trip to Dante's inferno isn't that bad of an idea also. I'll arrive there by hitchhiking, soaked in bleach, drunk on the ideas of the bad guys in literature. And I'll finally crawl to the 9th circle, shake Brutus's hand and use the chance to congratulate Judas himself on making it on to so many art themes. (What is art? Prostitution. Haha, the last laugh is on Judas, haha.) These two guys are never out of fashion. Come to think of it, maybe I'll just be such a crybaby and get on Lucifer's nerves by asking about the communists every so often so that he'll just send me back to Earth. Oh diddly doo, I'd better stop with the far fetched story or you'll think I'm high or something. I'll just say "ho ho ho", beacause it would be a little improper to say "ha ha ha" or you'll know I'm high. Anyhow. I don't have the contagious teen spirit with me anymore. Or the mojo. Or call it whatever you want. I'm too much of a nobody to care at the moment. A break is just what I need to load up my mental health. I'm not saying it should be in balance, hell no. That, my friends, is too much to ask for.

The truth is that it's really hard to write anything at the moment that makes sence. Usually words just pore out of me. But today is just one of those days. You know, your thoughts refuse to align with your fingers and you long for yesterday. Oh God, I'm really losing my touch. Parents, better not let your children ever know that there once was a band called "The Beatles". They were hardly the good boys of rock'n'roll when you think of it. Love the world, but never too much.

The truth is that I won't use "the truth is that" at the beginning of my paragraphes anymore. It's rather lame. Boring. Meaningless double talk. Psittacism. Hah, I bet you don't know what that last word meant. And yes, the answer to your question is "yes", I can be lamer than this. Or whatever. Sometimes you just need to write yourself empty. Sometimes you just need to sell your kids for food. Sometimes you just need to turn the other cheek. Oh yeah, and sometimes, you just need to lie to your parents and go hitchhiking to Paris despite of them forbidding it. And sometimes, pretend you don't know what this means. I mean, everyone needs some time to grow. Some space, some air, some utopian idea, some near to life/death experience, some divine comedy to tell your grandchildren.

The truth is that I broke my promise. Oh sweet hypocrisy! I broke my promise just like I break the world's immorality limits. Every now and then. Just for the laugh of it. Then I gaze at the stars and try hard not to lose control. And I ris and I pleure. And when it rains in my heart then it rains on the street as well. And when I smile in my heart then a whorehouse provides higher class service to the (mentally) broke Finnish people as well. And when I want to laugh, then I laugh and my friends laugh with me. Or at me. Or considering the circumstances. And I when I'm happy I just pray that I won't be happy for too long, because I start to miss the comfort in being sad. And then everything is ükskõik mis and I am ükskõik kes.

The truth is, I'm fed up with this senseless crap. Someone rape my thoughts, please. Take them and disgrace them. I'll just make you do it again and again and I'll hate you. You'll hear my fucking hate and find that I'm real good at it. And in the end, we are going to be fucking happy. And I beg your pardon yet again. I shouldn't swear, but I do it. The world shouldn't produce idiots, but it does anyway. George Walker - nonsense talker shouldn't have been elected for president in the first place, but he was. Makes us raise our eyebrows just a little bit, doesn't it. Okay, I'll produce some lines that make sense to someone apart from me as well. I'm under the impression that I'm taking on more responsibilities than I can chew on. Summer is approaching at the speed of light and I'm trying to race with it. I'm afraid to overestimate my limits again (such as during the previous weeks). I mean, I was so tired that I fell asleep in the cinema on Monday! I die. Either from boredom or tiredness or insomnia. No balance what so ever. I guess I'm not a very stable person, oh no.
The truth is, I don't believe anyone needs this break from school more than I do. I'll have time to read and sleep and I'll feel the spring in the air and I'll be normal.. kind of.